Six Months
For what it’s worth, it has felt both like a blink and a lifetime away.
I can’t tell you where the next six months will take me or what they hold but here I am, raising a glass to what may come. Here’s to growth.
For what it’s worth, it has felt both like a blink and a lifetime away.
It has been six months since I pressed publish for the first time. Six months ago I decided to dive head first into a dream, slash my soul open and lay it on display for anyone to observe - I’m Proud of You.
Since then I have felt the weight of the water I jumped into, clawed my way out of the waves, laid lifeless like a beached whale, and have repeated the cycle over and over again. I’ve sewn my soul back together with strings of comfortable and cautious because bold and vulnerable is a different kind of ache.
Drenched in inconsistency, I have toured you through the rooms of my mind. I have spoken on apathy and exhaustion, hope and growth, and the journey of trying. I’ve done this all in an effort to expose my humanity - to not feel so alone - or maybe, just maybe, to get rid of the clutter in my cranium.
I’ve slid across the spectrum of “Here I am world!” and “BRB my bed is calling.” Don’t get me wrong, I am still proud of myself. Proud of the work I’ve done - proud of what I have posted - proud of who I’m becoming in the process. Proud but still wanting. Wanting more consistency, more belief in myself, belief in my writing. Wanting to care a little less about how I will be perceived and a little more about why I believe this to be valuable.
The last six months have been a blur of steps forward and fall backs - life itself I suppose.
I can’t tell you where the next six months will take me or what they hold but here I am, raising a glass to what may come. Here’s to growth. Here’s to the next six months. Here’s to twice as many posts and half as many breakdowns. Here’s to continuing to try over and over and beginning to care a little less each time even when it feels like failing. Here’s to us - to you and to me. Here’s to all of us out here trying our best to learn a little more about who we are along the way and finding out it’s all been worth something.
